Twisted
by reflecting
Summary: SLASH! SSLM. 'Of course he had to be used, going through life as a pawn to sacrifice. If someone wanted him, they seemed to get him. Was he ever going to be free' First try folks. R&R! More than a oneshot?


_A/N: -deep breath- here it is! my very first Lucius and Snape fic. Flames? They'll hurt but I won't stop you from telling me what you really think of the story..._

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Twisted

He sat in a room, huddled in a corner, legs bent and arms resting on his knees. His head was titled downwards, and the long, greasy hair shadowed his pale face and made it impossible to see what he was thinking. The only thing visible was his black, glittering eyes that were fixed upon the wall opposite of him. It was in the middle of the night, and not even the moonlight reached the slumped form of the boy. Anyone who passed by the corridor, open door or not, would do so without noticing anything amiss and he'd be spared the rough travel back to reality, for he was deeply lost in thought.

Memories meant nothing, and feelings even less. He might be bitter, confused, brooding, angry and ashamed, but that didn't matter. It didn't bring any good to feel or remember nothing but pain. He just needed silence. He only wanted to seek what he craved; knowledge and power over those who caused him such disgrace and pain. If it'd been a bit more light in the darkened room, then you'd see how flushed his cheeks were; at least by his standards. The otherwise pale, almost white, oily skin was coloured pink along his sharp cheekbones at the memories he was trying to force down. He said to himself once again that memories meant nothing, but the haunted look in his eyes didn't leave. He'd lost count of how many times he'd fled the boys' dorm to sit like this; sulking in a room hidden deep down in the dungeons. Not even Potter and Black had managed to find him here, he noted with satisfaction. Somehow, in a way he didn't know, the four Gryffindors always found him. He'd given up trying to find out how they did it, and chose to hide within these four, thick walls instead.

Time passed, yet he didn't move. He sat absolutely still; breathing so quietly he could have been dead at the first look. After an hour or two, the silence in the room was disturbed by the sound of footsteps. The boy's head snapped up and his black eyes regarded a wooden door with wariness.

There was someone walking outside the room; making its way through the corridor. He whished it wasn't the Potions Professor, his Head of House, up for a late round. The man had caught him once; when he'd been on his way to his secret room. A week's worth of detention was the result, he remembered with a sneer playing on his lips. Professor Slughorn just wanted him to help with potions, too Slytherin to ask for it. It amused him to no end that he was more talented than his Professor, but due to the difference in age and rank he kept his otherwise deadly sharp tongue in control. He'd almost slipped when Lucius had whispered a tempting comment as the Professor had passed by. _You know, the Mudblood Lily is his favourite. You show him what you really can do, and she'll be history._ But he hadn't. It gave him no pleasure to show off; the last thing he wanted was to be like Potter and Black.

"Severus?" a voice hissed; the opening of the door so soundless that he jumped in surprise. Blinking at the light coming off someone's wand, he sat frozen for a second before slowly moving his right hand; reaching for his wand.

"Oh for God's sake; it's me!" the voice sneered before closing the door behind him. Severus glared at the older boy standing on the other side of the room, his sight restored.

"Lucius," he greeted in an annoyed mutter. Why did he have to show up now, of all times? Surely the events of today had reached even Lucius' cruel, perfect ears? It seemed that Black had finally started to use his brain along with his observation skills, but it was for the worse. At least for Severus. The school surely had gotten themselves a great laugh_. The greasy git? The miserable swot in Slytherin? Gay?_

"A smile on your face, as always," the blonde responded with a smirk while walking over to the corner where Severus sat; posture stiff. He stopped just a few inches away, looking down at the wary boy. It'd taken him a while to memorize which way to go in order to find this room. It puzzled him that Severus found this room so relaxing, or at least peaceful, enough to seek its comfort each night. Though today Lucius could understand. He'd heard about what Black had done, and had found a weird feeling of relief. It could be for the reason that he wanted to have the greasy-haired boy in his bed. Sure, he could take him any day, willing or not, but still there was some part of him that wanted the raven boy willing.

"What do you want?" Severus asked in a tired voice, moving his hands up to his face to massage his temples. Lucius watched his slender fingers move in circles across his skin and thought it a waste for them to be destroyed by the rough job of stealing herbs from Professor Sprout. He'd offered the dark boy another way to get his precious ingredients, but not even Lucius' large amount of charm had made him give in. The damned Half-Blood knew how to play his cards, Lucius had noticed the first time he'd ever seen the social misfit.

"I was just wondering what you're thinking of each night when you come here," Lucius finally answered, sitting down on the floor while holding the cold glare he received with ease.

"Why?" was the only word coming off Severus lips. Lucius frowned and, clearly unable to take his eyes off those lips, was losing his patience. Used to getting what he wanted, even from this particular odd boy, Lucius allowed his anger and frustration show.

"I don't need to explain myself to a mere Half-Blood," he snapped, ignoring the flash of hurt in Severus' eyes. He was driving him mad, and he didn't even know it. Lucius never feared the size of his obsession, though many people had warned him, including his father, that control was the only thing keeping him in check.

"Fine. Fine," Severus said after a silence that stretched longer than thought comfortable. "I know I am taking up your precious time, even though it was you who sought me. I'll leave, oh mighty Pureblood Lucius Malfoy."

Lucius watched as Severus stood up, his raven hair messy by now. A vision of himself causing that mess flashed before his eyes, and he gave a sound that could've been a moan of pleasure, or of irritation. Severus froze, on his way towards the door, and looked back over his shoulders to meet a pair of silver eyes. His only friend, secret object of desire; the one he couldn't get. Strange that fate seemed to enjoy the long torture called his life to be stretched just a tad bit more by each day, each moment.

"I apologize. Even though you're a Half-Blood, you're at least a Half-Blood _Prince_," Lucius breathed, memories of the past years flashing before his eyes. It was hard to admit, but Severus was something special. The talent that seemed so natural in potions was something to envy, and his already great knowledge within the Dark Arts was only strangled because of the rules he followed when within the walls of Hogwarts. Seeing the quiet, brooding and intelligent teenager transform when finally free of the prying eyes of teachers and do-gooders in the school made a rush of pleasure shoot through Lucius against his will. It'd been amusing, at first, when he'd found out the nickname Severus used but it didn't take long before he'd proven himself worthy of it. Now he stood, surprised but composed, staring at Lucius. The Half-Blood Prince Severus, taken by surprise at least three times this night, Lucius mused with satisfaction.

"What do you really want Lucius?" Severus asked, eyes glowing in the dim light still coming from Lucius' wand. _You,_ went through his mind. Would it hurt? To say that? Could he say something true? Something he really meant? The possibility of rejection made him pause, but a strong fire had already started to burn. Tension filled the air as Lucius too stood up, turning to face Severus. He was still having half his back against Lucius, but his head was titled enough to keep eye contact.

"You want to know the truth, right?" Lucius growled, causing Severus to frown. There was no way he could've missed the husky tone that lay beneath those words. Instead of answering, he just nodded and turned to face the blonde fully. Lucius smirked, lust slowly overtaking him.

"You," he said simply while taking a step closer. He lifted his wand enough to lighten up Severus' face, which had become shadowed, and saw his black eyes widen. Lucius had never been able to tell where the pupils were; it was after all like telling black from black.

"Wh-what?" he foolishly stuttered, blushing at his stumble over the word. Lucius took another step, wickedly pleased to see that Severus did not back away.

"You heard me," he said in a low purr. Severus stiffened then.

"You know then?" he said tonelessly. He couldn't believe what the blonde had said. He was just making fun of him, right? He didn't want him. Couldn't.

"Of course. Potter made sure to spread it through the school properly," Lucius said quietly, spitting out the name Potter with just a little bit less venom than Severus used. "And I'm glad."

This defiantly made Severus snap. He was glad? Glad that Black and Potter had caused him to suffer utter embarrassment? Glad?

"I'm pleased my humiliation allowed even you to laugh," Severus said coolly before turning to leave. A tight grip around his arms stopped him, and a powerful tug spun him around with no difficulty. The only sound was one of a gasp in surprise, before silence settled over the two of them.

"You know me, Severus. I never truly laugh. Neither do you. I may have found it amusing, if you hadn't been one of my….closest….friends," Lucius drawled in a low voice. Severus stared into those silver eyes of his, almost seeing the flames play behind them. He couldn't answer, couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say, he just wanted to get out of there. Tempting as it may be, this was not the situation he wanted to be in this particular night. His thoughts were bitter, his feelings hurt and memories were flashing through his mind. None of it was good, or would ever be, and now in his moment of weakness Lucius had to be there. Only at nights like these did Severus allow himself to feel the pain, bury it and forget it only to remember it all the next time. Somehow pleasure and knowledge of an uncertain future of rejection and out-of-place behaviour didn't seem right now. If it ever would, in times like these. Times of weakness.

"I've wanted you Severus, but have ignored it for too long," Lucius whispered after having allowed Severus his time to think. His words were followed by a kiss, forcing Severus close to his chest, passionate and possessive. He struggled, but found it difficult to resist the demanding kisses Lucius gave him and soon gave up. Kissing him back, but not moving, Severus closed his eyes. The grip around his arms loosened and he felt Lucius' hands grab his front robes; holding him in place.

"Yet you could've taken me at any time," Severus whispered through small gasps when Lucius broke away to get air.

"Indeed," the blonde said, too interested in the possibilities this new situation gave him to pay attention. Severus noticed and pinned him down with a stare. His dark eyes shone in a way that brought Lucius back from wherever he might have been, and his previous words sunk in. Looking as if he was devouring them, Lucius bent over to whisper in Severus' ear.

"I could've taken you with force; raped you and enjoyed it. Hurting you with curses and whips or whatever I might've felt like using. But I want you willing; I want you pleased, not harmed. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. You just make me less cruel." Severus closed his eyes as he let the silken drawl wash over him while sucking those words in. He would've hated him, would've whished him dead if Lucius had betrayed him in a way like that. He admitted that he could've done it, but said he didn't want it. He wanted him. Wanted him willing.

"Do you believe me now?" Lucius asked, dragging Severus back to reality. He felt himself backed against a wall; no escape, no way to go. Lucius stood pressed against him, his arousal making it clear to Severus what he wanted the most right now, and what he couldn't deny him.

"Yes," Severus hissed in respond, feeling himself panicking at the lack of freedom. Lucius didn't seem to notice as he began kissing the pale skin along his throat; making Severus arch his head back. The cold stone was uncomfortable behind his back, and he could feel how he was pushed even harder against it. Somehow he was sliding up higher, finding himself standing on tiptoe, against it and it was becoming difficult to breath both out of his own growing excitement and the lack of air he was getting between deep kisses and hard pressed chest. He was unconsciously beginning to struggle, panic rising along with fear, and was suddenly free from the painful, hot grasp of Lucius. Stumbling to the floor, knees unable to hold him, Severus gasped. It hurt, hitting the floor with his kneecaps, but he fought to not let it show. Lucius was by his side then, sitting down on his own knees while tugging a tangled mess of raven hair behind Severus' ear.

"You're afraid, Severus. You're never afraid. Is it because you think I'll leave you?" Lucius said with a rough, yet so soft, voice. No respond came, but Lucius knew the answer. He continued. "I will, of course, because I'm betrothed to Narcissa Black. Have been, actually, for a while. But I've waited for too long, Severus. I'll have you, willing or unwilling, in my bed. This night, I want to be painless. But you're struggling, and I can't take that. You'll be by my side tomorrow, as a friend, and in my bed at night as my lover. I've decided, and I won't change my mind. Make it pleasurable, Severus. Make it painless. Give yourself to me; willingly. It's your choice. I'm having you, but you can make it good or bad. You've got a choice."

Severus stared down at his hands. Obsession. Lust. Twisted needing. It was all clear now. How foolish of him to think anything near to normal could be given to him. Of course he had to be used, going through life as a pawn to sacrifice. If someone wanted him, they seemed to get him. Was he ever going to be free?

"I've suffered enough for today, Lucius. Just take me; I'm yours," he finally managed to say. Before anything else was spoken Lucius covered his mouth with his own; strong, hot kisses burning. Severus dimly noted that he should be grateful to feel desire building inside of him, and he was, because it lessened the feeling of shame and hurt. At least he was partly willing, partly giving. Never mind he had almost no other choice. For once, he'd made the right one. For once he hadn't chosen the worst, most painful way. _Perhaps things are starting to change,_ he thought while feeling cold air biting at his now bare skin, _but then again; maybe it's only getting worse…_

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_A/N: so sorry for grammar/spelling errors...I'd love a beta...-wink- anyways, review:)_

_PS: Soooo when I wrote this I had no idea Lucius is FIVE years older than Severus...sooo sorry for that mistake folks...in my mind Lucius is just about two or three years older...grrrr! can't I do anything right?_


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